Wednesday, February 25, 2015

6 days with out a shower

The weather in Colorado this winter has been a bit manic. Many days of 70 degree sunshiny bike ride inducing mid winter confusion.
 The shop has stayed busy and before you say it; Yes, that is great. ..As long as you work to work and work and work and live to work and then work more. I like to live some when I can. So, despite being more busy than the village drunk at a free wine tasting festival, I decided to take a trip to the good old south west for some off road desert race put on by the Nitro Circus Thrillbilly redneck mormon motorheads at a casino in Mesquite Nevada.
I left early last Wednesday to stay over in Moab for a while and hang out with my old camper dwelling "I even have running water" of a beloved Dad. My Pops is not a conventional part of modern society. I value his insight and have learned much from him. Thursday's lesson was how to build bicycle wheels. I build motorcycle wheels  all the time and thought it would be similar. It was not. It took us the entire day. Luckily, as I mentioned I enjoy spending time with my Pop and his out door living room is a scenic and nice place to soak up some winter sunshine. As the sun sank I pulled out of camp/casa Newbold and met Lord Mick, His honey Hannah and Wallace the ever intoxicated philosopher of filth, substance abuse and vulgarity.  I transferred my bike and gear into the scary van and left my trusty old White Lightning alone, along the side of I-70 in the middle of the Utah desert. Whiskey, comradeship of  the best and weird smoking devices brought us through the night to our race destination. What the fuck is up with smoking from the electronic dildo things? What the fuck! I understand the world is becoming more eco friendly and that is fine with me but I still want my whiskey to taste like whiskey and my smoke, whatever kind it may be should never taste like cotton candy!
Any hoo, where the hell was I in this ramble of race tales.. Yeah, Friday morning. Practice session was at 10:30 am. I was glad no earlier. I have not considered my self an off road racer for some time but I have been riding the mx tracks this winter in training prep for Pikes Peak. One of the things about off road that burned me out was the evolution of the enduro X tractor tire, mud pit, boulder piles of matrixed logs that are as smooth and rythmic as electronic dub tripping techno dance music. (sorry if that is you cup of tea) LONG LIVE ROCK!!  Degresion... oh, I went over the bars big as shit after sticking my front wheel into a tractor tire blown out ass hole. Panic rev half front flip ending with my steed hammering me down with the force of a mike tyson bitch slap. I dont remember what else happened friday but on saturday I finished 4th in both motos behind the likes of Mike Brown, Destry Abbott and Rory Sullivan. So not being a factory pro I fucking won. Battling pros (getting passed and blasted like a dalmation drinking from a fire hose) will always be one of my favorite things ever. I tried to make love to my steering stabilizer with my chin resulting in heavy bleeding of the face. Wallace dislocated his shoulder. Hannah got mooshine bit before the sun went down and Mick won the back flip contest on a bicycle. I was the only ass hole in the pits that had no quarter million quid motorhome, van, or even a tent and my star lit luck gave up on me sunday morning as winter came back and I awoke feeling like a blown up bottle of pickles somebody left in the freezer mistaking for otter pops. Back to my van and then back to my Pop's for one more night of sleeping in below freezing weather. After five nights of it I actually started to not mind the cold toes, frozen snot in my beard and the black widows in my boots. actually the little scorpions didn't even scare me. As long as it is not scampering out form under some stupid man made enduro X tractor tire pile! 
Who the hell needs leg room with companions like these

Enduro X is so fun!!!

Says it all

My father; Mike the Bike

Two guitars, Two bikes, and one filthy hippy. With a van; You can. Sometimes two vans.


cosmicowboy said...

Shower on Satuday! Pussy!

747 said...

I knew you where going to say that.
cowboy wisdom.

mcnasty_W.O.R_rider said...

im sorry about the tractor tires, and the leg room, and even saturday night's sleeping accommodations, but i promise i will never stop inviting you on questionable van related weekends. fun as shit ass fuck. and never forget about the shitty titty gang bang