Friday, January 22, 2016

Chunks is my dog

This is Baja'a happy face. Seriously. She looks at me like this when she is trying to be charming. Back before I was a flattracker, I was a want-a-be flattracker and between bouncing over whoops and hitting dude booters on my dirtbike I liked to slide her as sideways as I could on the transfer roads. Like so many flattracker want-a-be dirt bikers, I thought it was all about getting more sideways than a horizontal line traveling through space. One time I got it past the comfort zone. I saved it but not expecting it I, it went the other way and we all know how tank slapping catapulting over the high side is a lot like getting shot out of a fucking canon. Result: Spinal hematoma requiring three large syringes of fluid to be drained. I love the feeling of hypodermic needles in my spine. Not really. Fast forward many years of back aches and I just had these tumors (the peach cobbler looking dessert jar) removed from the spot of the former injury. My favorite part of the operation was laying on my stomach and feeling the doc's fingers fishing around under my skin. No dirty talking or forplay, he just went three knuckle deep on me and when I turned around to see his face he was sweating and started to curse. apperantly what he thought was a little lipoma turned out to be a ping pong ball sized rock hard nugget and four other little tumors for a nice platter of chunk stew. yummy. That's about all the story time I have now. Reckon my back will feel better but I just have to make sure not to rip my stitches out and all I want to do is get on a bike and shred some fucking gnar godamitall!


Frank said...

Feel better! My wife the acupuncturist can help with the pain, I'm guessing.

warren said...

#1. gross
#2. yuk
#3. the Doc shredded your gnar and you didn't even get a free beer

Paul said...

Get well soon Dood!

Sideburn Magazine said...

Holy shit! You're a tough old boot. G