Take it like a man

The day before I put my beloved Baja dog down I fell on my ass.

More like a super strong freak gust of wind blew my dirtbike right out from under me on one of the more big jumps on any motocross track I have ever ridden and I fell like two stories past the landing zone and slammed my less fun to look at area to the hard pack. 

So the last three and half weeks have been tough on me. Living with out my Baja is like loosing sunshine, comfort, and companionship. I had no idea how massively much those knowing brown eyes of hers meant to me. It has been a tough past few weeks to say the least. The one form of therapy I know to always work is seat time on my good ol dirtbike but even 2 seconds in the saddle is more pain than my stench secreting crevasse can bare so all I have been able to do is work away the hurt and stay off my ass.

 Loosing Cowboy and Baja have made me a little more human and little less carefree dare devil. Fuck, I must be getting older. Roll cages, wet wipes, and Metamucil. A pathetic rant on this blog would always incite the Cosmic Cowboy and I could never refuse his wise words of telling me to shut up and go racing. Shit I don't think I have gone this long with out going to a race in a very, very long time...

Short Haired Country Boy with out the hair

I am tired of people blowing wind in my ear about not being lazy. I think a lot of people have given a bad rap to the word lazy. Now this is more than just a stoner thought so hear me out. I think I’m doing all right. I am for sure not saying that I have anything figured out but I am more than happy to put down my tools and fire up a little ol dirtbike and it sure makes a lot of things seem a whole lot more in focus when I do. Don’t get me wrong, I work hard. My new shop has bills the size of French Bull dog balls. And I find a lot of value in following my dream to the finish, just like a big desert race, this shit takes work. But the same people who give me a hard time or make me feel self-conscience are usually the same blow-hards driving big un-paid for brand new vehicles like the ones on the bill board sign and always pissed off that they never take vacations or have any free time to do what I make time for. I to once drank the kool aid, I had huge accounts on all the tool trucks, spent time in hotel lounge bars during annual multi day technical update seminars, and all the while making my boss as much money as I could bill in a day just like one of the hamsters running in one of the spinny fucking wheel things.  I am glad I did because it helped me start out on my dream of having my own shop. But it was tough and no matter what kind of capitalist cookie cutter conformity surrounds me telling me to bill out ten hours a day at $100 per hour for 6 or 7 days a week I know that no amount of money is worth the quality time that life’s clock keeps ticking down. Now I am going to go drink beer and fuck off. Peace.

Time to fab a skidplate...

Got Bug Problems

A few weeks ago I went and picked up another bug. This 68 is completely blown apart for restoration. It already has new floor pans and heater channels welded in so I am learning body work (I'm good with a saws-all- CHOP AND DESTROY) and dreaming up a paint job. The engine was built for drag racing and I managed to fire it up and evacuate the oil sump all over my floor. Fucking sweet! I am thinking daily driver baja bug. With of course a roll cage. Maybe just build a full class 5 desert racer. Fuck it. I wish I had the money. At least I got some time. This shit keeps my brain from melting down.

The Most Powerful Two Stroke Assembly Part 2 - Primary intake

latest video from Norway has just dropped. Don't forget to catch up on the others I have not blogged. This is very exciting stuff for me. Also I am glad that no tortillas were harmed during this.

mini bike and sx on the big screen party

Adios Baja

The words usually come to me but this time it is hard. 

How can I write an elegy. I can't. Not yet any way. The bond between her and I was such that I feel not only loss but totally lost. Not to say that I am not with out means to find my way. But I am so far away from where I was a week ago. 

However, I know there is meaning to my sadness. I know she was always teaching me. And continue the lesson I shall. Time. There is never enough time. Not much means more than packing as much love into the precious amount of time we have. For nearly 14 years we spent nearly every hour of everyday together. This past year was borrowed time and I knew it. I knew going on adventures in my van without her changed my whole outlook on weekends. I knew more emptiness was around the corner but no amount of preparation could soften death's blow.

She could not get up all day. We phoned the vet. Then she got up with some help. On her own went out and had a piss and then puked up the biggest yellow hairball you can imagine. I took her to the shop and gave her a bath. Content and at peace she slept into the night. Near midnight I awoke to find her shaking and for the first time ever I knew. I knew time had come.

I knew that what we had was special and no chemical injection from a stranger's needle in some over lit pet hospital was justice to her bad-ass epic life. I grew up on a working ranch and I know the shocking cold crack of a bullet. The contradiction of harsh and sweet, the straw floored stable I first met the puppy is a stable I have seen many an animal birthed and yet many a still born I had to haul to the bone yard as well. We took one last drive, her head calm in my lap. Her shaking stopped and I knew we both knew each other's thoughts. Once out side of the city limits I pulled over to park and overlook all the twinkling city lights below. 

Out side the wind blew so fierce I could hardly stand as I brought her out to the damp ground. She lay on her bed calmly embracing the strong currents around her majestic beautiful coat. Coming out of nowhere. Howling like no wind I have ever known.

This is where I can no longer describe.

It is not easy to be brave. 

She was.

The next morning I put her in the ground behind my shop.
I cried for two days straight.
I sure am going to miss her and will always be grateful for our time together.
Time.
There will never be enough time.
Fill it with all the love you can.